HaHa. Yer so funny.
Sushi rice (I just make short grain rice with some salt) cooled
Carrot and cucumber strips marinated in seasoned rice vinegar
Tuna in mayo (could use Kewpie mayo)
Toasted Nori sheets cut in half
Water to seal
Layer ingredients in a pile on a diagonal and roll, seal with water
Serve with wasabi, soy sauce, pickled ginger, rice, yuzu drink